My perfect crime?
It's friday. Ive got 99 problems. Everything's made to be broken. I see you driving around town with the girl I love. I thought she'd always be mine. I thought,"Relax, everybody's looking at me."
The night starts here. I wait til I see the sun. I have become comfortably numb. I walk to her creepy little house.l Sometimes goodbye is the only way. She's awake, smoking the days last cigarette..This place about to blow.
I put on that old song we danced too. Bang, bang, bang goes my gun. She goes six feet under..
I am free to care, I just never do. I grow a beard, no shirt, no shoes, just leather pants. I still get service. Call me superman..
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
RIsk and Reward
My perfect crime?
I infiltrate his layer around 1:34 a.m in the morning. who you ask? Lone peaks golden child, Chase Hansen. Although he may look like an angel sleeping, I understand he can turn into a ball of trouble if awakened at the wrong time. Here's where it gets complicated.
Earlier that evening, I sent my mistress over to his house, yea Chase is a good kid, but who can resist the smell of cotton candy perfume, and Raspberry lemonade chap stick? She may be my mistress, but They make love, I take one for the team. She tires him out, he slumbers harder than a bear in a coma.
Now pay attention, my mistress and I place chloroform over his face too make sure he stays out. We bag him and throw him out the window too a perfectly placed trampoline waiting below, he bounces into the back of my pick up truck. We escape using the fire ladder I packed in my back pack.
Once back to headquarters, I inject him with truth serum, using a needle made from the spine of a porcupine, normal needles break on Chase's skin. When "coherent", I ask chase, what is his perfect crime? He never has a bad idea, and obviously his perfect crime would be a golden nugget. I record everything on a tape player.
After stealing the idea, I place him back in the truck, get him back to his house, and inject him with a mixture of amnesia, and sleeping juice. He wakes in the morning thinking it was a dream.
4 years later, I wake up in Paris. I own McDonald's secret recipe which I now use in my own restaurant. It's called J. Beibs, Everyone loves Justin.. Thank you Chase Hansen.
I infiltrate his layer around 1:34 a.m in the morning. who you ask? Lone peaks golden child, Chase Hansen. Although he may look like an angel sleeping, I understand he can turn into a ball of trouble if awakened at the wrong time. Here's where it gets complicated.
Earlier that evening, I sent my mistress over to his house, yea Chase is a good kid, but who can resist the smell of cotton candy perfume, and Raspberry lemonade chap stick? She may be my mistress, but They make love, I take one for the team. She tires him out, he slumbers harder than a bear in a coma.
Now pay attention, my mistress and I place chloroform over his face too make sure he stays out. We bag him and throw him out the window too a perfectly placed trampoline waiting below, he bounces into the back of my pick up truck. We escape using the fire ladder I packed in my back pack.
Once back to headquarters, I inject him with truth serum, using a needle made from the spine of a porcupine, normal needles break on Chase's skin. When "coherent", I ask chase, what is his perfect crime? He never has a bad idea, and obviously his perfect crime would be a golden nugget. I record everything on a tape player.
After stealing the idea, I place him back in the truck, get him back to his house, and inject him with a mixture of amnesia, and sleeping juice. He wakes in the morning thinking it was a dream.
4 years later, I wake up in Paris. I own McDonald's secret recipe which I now use in my own restaurant. It's called J. Beibs, Everyone loves Justin.. Thank you Chase Hansen.
Monday, October 10, 2011
One Chuck
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only Sign Language..
HE doesn't call the wrong number, YOU answer the wrong phone..
Once, a cop pulled over Chuck Norris, and the cop was lucky to leave with a warning..
He does not have a middle name, Nothing gets between Chuck Norris.
Like chase hansen, He grew a beard at the age of 18.. seconds
Chuck Norris can whistle in 14 different languages
Willis was talking about Chuck..
He doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar
Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby, First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.. He scares the shit out of it
Chuck norris... Called 911 to order chinese food and got it, came home late as a teen and his parents were grounded, can kill two stones with one bird, can beat you in a game of connect four with three moves, counted to infinity twice, doesn't sleep he just waits, doesn't throw up just throws down..
Chuck Norris Once played mincraft, Until he beat it..
Need I say more? Chuck Norris is the only word to know for your vocabulary..
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Rock the Freak Out
Rock out, This is a Direct order!
Your pants are on fire,
The roof is caving in on the dance floor,
You only have 4 minutes to save the world, and only need 1 minute to do so..
So rock out..
Rock out..
Like the girl you love just told you she loves you too,
Like you still love the girl you've been with forever,
Like It's been forever since you've been with the girl you love.. but now your reunited
Rock out..
Like it's your job and your getting paid overtime,
Like you just retired,
Like all you do is party now, and finally getting a job makes you feel stable again..
Rock out..
With your cock out.. or with your cock in.. as long as that Roosters there in the morning too wake you up too rock out again,
This is your direct order, To rock out.. Need I say more?
Your pants are on fire,
The roof is caving in on the dance floor,
You only have 4 minutes to save the world, and only need 1 minute to do so..
So rock out..
Rock out..
Like the girl you love just told you she loves you too,
Like you still love the girl you've been with forever,
Like It's been forever since you've been with the girl you love.. but now your reunited
Rock out..
Like it's your job and your getting paid overtime,
Like you just retired,
Like all you do is party now, and finally getting a job makes you feel stable again..
Rock out..
With your cock out.. or with your cock in.. as long as that Roosters there in the morning too wake you up too rock out again,
This is your direct order, To rock out.. Need I say more?
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